How I learned more about myself

“So, tell me something about yourself.” Whether you’re going for a job interview or you’re just having a quick chat with someone new, this is a common sentence that pops up. For years I had been walking around thinking that I knew who I was and what I enjoyed, but whenever I was asked to say something about myself, I would just freeze. When I started getting into the idea of possibly quitting my job last year, I had frequent conversations with my manager. He kept asking me “What is it that you do want to do?” and I would have no idea how to answer it, because up until that point, all I knew was what I surely didn’t want to do. He then suggested the obvious, which was to take moments to seriously think about who I am, what I like and how that will translate into different aspects of my life. I started taking multiple (free) online personality tests, more moments of reflection, and paying attention to how others described me. Let me tell you that this has helped me tremendously to know who I am (aside from Biblical perspective) and how I am being perceived.

Personality tests
Companies are big on personality tests, because they can use it to place each employee in their rightful place (so they say…). This would then help everyone discern where their place in the company would be. I took a few personality tests, some long, some short, some true, some not. There’s one personality test that I would suggest to everyone: 16Personalities. This test is so detailed: you get a full report on your strengths and weaknesses, you’re offered careers that would match your personality and it’s free. My test result shows that I’m a ‘Defender’: “Defenders are the universal helpers, sharing their knowledge, experience, time and energy with anyone who needs it, and all the more so with friends and family.” Yup, that’s me! You know how sometimes you want to describe something, but you can’t find the rights words for it and then someone gives you those words? That’s how I felt reading the results.

Moments of reflection (in solitude)
The personality tests are great, but they don’t describe us 100%. That’s why it’s important to have moments by yourself to reflect. Moments of reflection are not my favorite thing to do. I’m confronted with the reality of where I am and where I should be. But even then, I know that it benefits me, because I actually take the time to see what I need to do to achieve whatever goal I have. My hidden thoughts come out, I look at things I’ve done and wonder how I could have done things differently. We can be so busy sometimes that we don’t even know what we want to do in life or what keeps us going. We live in a world in which everything is accessible all the time. We’re global citizens, through just a few taps and scrolls on our phone screen we can see (too) many different things. Things that help us, but also things that distract us. All this leads to us having less time each day to spend on our own thoughts and opinions. Spending time with my own thoughts has helped me to create vision boards, to really know what I actually want to achieve this year, five years, and in a lifetime. For instance, I would like to learn more about finance, I’d love to travel more, and I want to do something impactful for people who wouldn’t be able to repay me.

What others say
Inasmuch as I said that it’s good to spend time alone to reflect and consider your own opinions, it’s also important to see what others have to say. There are sides of us that only come out when interacting with others. Therefore, it is good to hear what they have to say. Paying attention to what people often say about me has helped to notice things I hadn’t noticed before about myself. I’ve heard that I give people a sense of calmness due to my calm nature. Listening to others also helps to see where others misunderstand me. For instance, people tend to think I’m stern and unfriendly due to my facial expressions. 

What I did with the information
I gathered all of the information I got from the above and made a booklet out of it, called: ‘Ruth Osei-Agyeman: Facts & Findings’. Whenever I forget who I am and what I like (it really happens, lol), I grab it and go through it. It’s also helping me in the process of finding a new job. All this has helped me to see the areas I really need to work on and those that are my strengths. I’d recommend anyone to learn more about themselves. If you like what you see, then that’s great. However, I’m sure there’s room for improvement and this would be a great step in that direction.