Un-sabotaging my life

Sabotage  /ˈsæb.ə.tɑːʒ/
to intentionally prevent the success of a plan or action

I know it sounds dramatic, but sometimes dramatics are needed for one’s eyes to be opened to reality. This year more than ever before, I’ve had people tell me things like “You’ve got so much in you.”, “There’s so much that you can do, do something!”, “You can do more than you’re doing now.”, etc, etc. You get the drift? So do I. That’s why I think it’s time to take action and undo some of the damage I’ve done in my own life. (Again, pretty dramatic, but it’s still true.)

It is easier said than done. Telling someone they can do much more than they’re doing and that they’ve got so much in them is the easy part. However, if the person is not seeing it herself (or himself), then it’s like you’re talking to a wall. Perhaps you’re talking to that invisible wall that the person finds hard to break through. That’s my dilemma. I know I have so much in me, but for it to come out … that’s a different story. It’s like fear is just crippling me and not allowing me to do what I imagine myself doing. I can’t begin to list all the great things I’ve thought of before but never carried out because of some irrational fear. I’ll still list a few though.

I once had an idea of starting a YouTube channel, even bought a ring light, recorded some videos, but never posted anything because of what I thought others might think. I once thought of starting a podcast, even bought a microphone for it, never started it because I wondered who would even want to listen to it. I thought of starting a website with what I thought would be interesting content, but never started it. And you know the funniest thing? I kid you not, after I had those ideas but didn’t implement them, I saw plenty others carry out those same ideas and actually become successful. I’m literally shaking my head as I’m typing this, because I’ve missed out on plenty opportunities by choosing not to take action. Thank God I started this blog, so I didn’t completely ignore everything. But still. Imagine all the great things I could have had in place by now.

If you’re a Christian, you might know the ease of just blaming things on the devil. Life isn’t going well? Blame the devil. Failed an exam? Blame the devil. Fell down the stairs? You guessed it: blame the devil! I think that at times we forget the role we play in things not going well for us. I’ll be honest, I’ve played a big part in sabotaging my life and I’m ready to make up it for it. I believe God is looking at me and thinking finally! 

So… if you see me starting my podcast, YouTube channel, website or whatever comes to mind, just know I’m out here undoing damage and getting back on track. I don’t want to have the sad memory of a lost opportunity again; I’d rather try and risk the chance of failing than sit back and regret.